Relax!

Warning! This post might contain TMI.
So I had a hospital appointment on Monday . Earlier in the day,I had spent hours at the bank trying to get my ATM card and spent some time in traffic before I finally arrived the hospital already feeling out of sorts. So I tried to settle down while I waited my turn and the nurse called my name. I go into the consultation room and she’s trying to take a sample. So here I am on the table, legs in the air with this woman attempting to insert a metal object inside of me. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but then what got on my nerves was the nurse constantly saying “Madam, just relax.” I’m like seriously?! Relax?! Like how the heck am I supposed to ‘relax’ in this postion? Anyways after another couple of minutes she finally succeeds in her ‘quest’ and gets the sample she needs. But she’s still very disgruntled that I did not ‘relax’ on command.

Now for someone who has been TTC for a while, I’m used to all kinds of tests, pricking, prodding, flushing, you name it I’ve done it. So I’m no shirking violet when it comes to hospital visits. I also appreciate the fact that nurses and doctors see a lot of patients each day and sometimes monotony seems to set in and they forget they are dealing with people. I have had some of the most insensitive comments come from my doctors since my ttc journey began and it always shocks me because I just assume if no one understands what im going through my doctors will. So I was very upset at this nurse who expected me to get up on a table spread my legs and ‘relax’ during a procedure thats extremely uncomfortable, even if it was a procedure I had done a hundred times before.

I let the nurse know that while I understood the fact that she might be tired and want to get her sample as quickly as possible, commanding me to relax on makes me more uncomfortable and resentful of her. Which doesn’t help either of us in the long run. Maybe I was being too sensitive because I had a long annoying day but I still feel like the nurse should have been nicer or at least apologised.

What do you think?

Famous Last Words

Wow it’s April already! Where is the year running to and how did I assume I would have spare time for myself? I thought I would have time to update regularly……here we are. But I’m grateful for  everything. So let me give a quick round up of what has been going on with me 🙂

I’ve almost finished my PGDE I’m stuck writing my thesis, but so far all my results have been fantastic.Teaching is great fun I’m loving my kids and I feel very fulfilled. On the ttc front we’ve found a hospital that works for us and we start a fresh round of tests this month.

The Hubby and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary yay us! We had a quiet dinner and ate lots of cake. We have grown so much it’s amazing. My oldest friend had us over for dinner to meet her boyfriend, it was fun and it reminded us of when we were still dating and all the questions we had and the uncertainties we faced.

I remember the first time H asked me out and I said “I can’t date you, you’re Muslim!” , four years later, here we are and I would take a bullet for him in a heart beat. I look back on the road we’ve travelled how hard it has been making this partnership work, all the prejudice we have faced, the disapproval from both families and misunderstanding from friends. It’s all been worth it, I married the most amazing man, my best friend and the kindest person I know. I would do it all again eating my words every step of the way. 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year people! Looking forward to this year with a lot of hope and the determination to do better.

I will be on here a lot more often. I have lots of exciting projects to look forward to and want to share them with you.

Thanks to everyone who stops by though I haven’t been consistent with my posts. I appreciate you all.

Have a fantastic 2013

Yay Baby!

The H’s best friend had a baby girl today 🙂 . She had pre eclampsia so it was an emergency ceasarian section. We’ve been at the hospital since last night! Thankfully mother and baby are doing great!

I came back physically and emotionally drained and I burst into tears 😦 I know in being silly and its probably just emotions but I feel so horrible. I want a baby l! I’m so happy for them but I really wish it was me *sigh

I’m almost half way through a bottle of wine and I’m trying not to be depressed. Will write sensible stuff tomorrow.

Making it Count

So right after I decided to write a post everyday this month my internet goes haywire! Now trying to blog from my phone. I’m not very tech savvy but I’m getting the hang of it.

We lost a family friend over the weekend and another was in an accident, his family is still searching for him but its not looking good. It got me thinking, they’re both young men in their early 30’s and its a huge shock to everyone. But the truth is we all die. And we don’t know when it will be our turn. This is a fact so why does death always come as a huge shock to us? Why do we live like it can’t happen to us?

I’m a Christian who believes firmly in her faith. I believe there is an after life and I try to live my life in a way that reflects this. But its difficult for me to accept that death is inevitable, that my husband. can be taken away from me at any time or that I may die before I have a chance to have children. Its so easy to take for granted that this life is fleeting. Every time a close friend dies I remind myself how fragile we are and say all the cliché quotes “You only live once” and so on, but days later I forget and life continues with its rhythm till the next death comes along as a gruesome reminder. And the questions come; am I living my life right? Am I making the right choices? What am I going to be remembered by? And sometimes its just ‘Does it really matter? I constantly ask myself if I am wasting the life I’ve been given.

How do you live your life and make it count? Who determines the rules? Do I have to achieve some great feat before I die to make my existence count? I have come to a decide what living a life that counts means to me. It is not worrying about when death will come for me neither is it worrying about how I will be remembered or what I have left behind. It’s also not about completing a bucket list or traveling around the world. While all these things are good I don’t think they determine whether or not a person has lived their life well. To me what counts is living a life that is full of love. To love and be loved by family, true friends and sharing as much love as possible with the world around you.

What’s does living a life that counts mean you?

#30WriteNow Challenge

Hello beautiful people 🙂 I know I’ve been away since forever, I’m grateful to the people who checked up on me. It’s been a rough couple of months, been busy with school and life’s issues. But I’m back now.

So to help motivate me to write I’m joining the #30WriteNow challenge that @Basseyworld and @nicoleblades came up with. Basically I’m going to write something everyday for the next 30 days it should be fun. For more info you can check out Bassey Ikpi’s Blog  www.basseyworld.tumblr.com

We are still ttc, will keep you updated on where we are soon enough. We didn’t complete our insanity workout challenge because I fell ill, but we want to begin it next week. I’m almost done with school and I’m already job hunting. 

Looking forward to having a great month of re connecting with all of you

Rambling thoughts

How was fathers day? Spent the day playing nurse as the Hubby was (still is)down with the flu. Sent messages to all the fathers I know except mine. I toyed with the idea of calling him but then I figured he has been absent for so long what’s the point? Hopefully this time next year we’ll have a Fathers day celebration in our home.

Was in the market on Friday and I noticed most of the women had white powder dabbed on their faces and necks. I wondered what was going on and I remembered its a tradition that if someone in the market has a baby all the women put baby powder on their faces in celebration. I took me back to when I used to help out my granny in her stall in the market. The women would gossip about who refused the offered powder and wonder if the person had a grudge with the new mother. I wonder who started the tradition and what it’s supposed to signify?

Been seeing random discussions on twitter lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of young people want to be ‘married’ but none of them are quiet ready to be wives or husbands. All you hear them talk about is their expectations of what they want the other person to do for them. It’s like no one is telling them it’s a give and take relationship, not a “if you don’t fulfil my needs I’m walking out” kind of relationship le sigh! That’s a topic for another post if I ever get my lazy self to actually write it.

Inspired by so many people  I’ve decided to try the Insanity Workout. Hubby is very fired up about it and I’m hoping we can go through the 60 days without quitting. Will try and keep you all updated.

Have a great week people! Kisses