The H’s best friend had a baby girl today 🙂 . She had pre eclampsia so it was an emergency ceasarian section. We’ve been at the hospital since last night! Thankfully mother and baby are doing great!
I came back physically and emotionally drained and I burst into tears 😦 I know in being silly and its probably just emotions but I feel so horrible. I want a baby l! I’m so happy for them but I really wish it was me *sigh
I’m almost half way through a bottle of wine and I’m trying not to be depressed. Will write sensible stuff tomorrow.
So right after I decided to write a post everyday this month my internet goes haywire! Now trying to blog from my phone. I’m not very tech savvy but I’m getting the hang of it.
We lost a family friend over the weekend and another was in an accident, his family is still searching for him but its not looking good. It got me thinking, they’re both young men in their early 30’s and its a huge shock to everyone. But the truth is we all die. And we don’t know when it will be our turn. This is a fact so why does death always come as a huge shock to us? Why do we live like it can’t happen to us?
I’m a Christian who believes firmly in her faith. I believe there is an after life and I try to live my life in a way that reflects this. But its difficult for me to accept that death is inevitable, that my husband. can be taken away from me at any time or that I may die before I have a chance to have children. Its so easy to take for granted that this life is fleeting. Every time a close friend dies I remind myself how fragile we are and say all the cliché quotes “You only live once” and so on, but days later I forget and life continues with its rhythm till the next death comes along as a gruesome reminder. And the questions come; am I living my life right? Am I making the right choices? What am I going to be remembered by? And sometimes its just ‘Does it really matter? I constantly ask myself if I am wasting the life I’ve been given.
How do you live your life and make it count? Who determines the rules? Do I have to achieve some great feat before I die to make my existence count? I have come to a decide what living a life that counts means to me. It is not worrying about when death will come for me neither is it worrying about how I will be remembered or what I have left behind. It’s also not about completing a bucket list or traveling around the world. While all these things are good I don’t think they determine whether or not a person has lived their life well. To me what counts is living a life that is full of love. To love and be loved by family, true friends and sharing as much love as possible with the world around you.
What’s does living a life that counts mean you?