Your Sister or Your Wife?

I hate to be the devils advocate, but I’ve been pushed to the wall and I see no other choice before me. I should give you some background first; I dated my husband for 2 years before we got married and I had minimal contact with his siblings as we lived in different states, when I finally met his family we seemed to get on quite well. His mom is a dream and his brothers are amazing, his sister is another story entirely. She seemed pleasant enough while I was still a ‘girlfriend’ but the moment hubby proposed she turned nasty. Throughout the wedding she was uncooperative and she even refused to attend the civil ceremony.

Imagine my discomfort when she decides to come spend Christmas holidays with us, I figured I could handle 2 weeks without getting into her hair. She never went back, she started her business and has been with us for 4 months and counting. She doesn’t chip in with house work, doesn’t buy any food, and she doesn’t respond when I say hello. My husband has noticed all of this and we’ve had a discussion where he begged me to keep being civil to her for his sake. This is all bearable, I can be a very patient person and I hate confrontations so I’d rather ignore a person than call them out.

Now our home is always full of strain, we act as if we’re walking on egg shells cos neither hubby nor I want to upset the delicate balance of peace we have. However the proverbial straw that broke the camels back came this morning. Hubby was down with the flu and I had been playing nursemaid all weekend, I got my cousin to come help me clean house and she shared the guest room with my Sil, who proceeded to tell her all my perceived faults. She has asked my Mil to come visit and see these faults firsthand. This I can’t deal with, it’s okay if you’re giving me attitude, but that she feels comfortable discussing my private issues with people. My Mil has been a little cold towards me, but I assumed she was just busy, now I feel like she’s already been turned against me. She talked about our spending habits, the way we eat and even our sex life! I don’t want that kind of scrutiny from someone who doesn’t have my best interest at heart. Our marriage isn’t perfect but we deserve the right to make our mistakes without anyone looking over our shoulder.

I’ve decided to give hubby an ultimatum, it’s his sister or me.


2 thoughts on “Your Sister or Your Wife?

  1. He needs to tell them, that you are the one he choose, and that they need to step off. All the best. Your house is suppose to be your place of peace, time to get that back.

  2. I am so sorry to hear you’re going through this. It’s never easy to have in-laws living in the same house as one. As the first commenter said, your husband will need to be the one to confront and tell them; he should have confronted his sis about her attitude long time actually.

    Please be prayerful and be very wise; watch the words you speak around the in-laws, no matter how upset you are. Do you guys have a mentor? Like a pastor or something? It’s always better when someone who is not family intervenes, but if his family wants to get involved, then pls bring your mum into the matter, it cannot be everyone against you.

    Is this sis his older or younger sis? Either way, she has to go, if she remains then it must be according to the standards of you and your hubbys home. You guys are still pretty new in marriage and she should not be there in the first place.

    Please pray and always stand your ground, don’t let anybody toss you about but always make sure you are in the right and not give them any reason to talk.

    God Bless.

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